Monday, January 28, 2008

blog 1,the light in the sky, the sound in my ear

The tension on this plane is unbreackable thought billy while he sat there on that plane so cramped it was hard to breath. then there was a blinding light that was shortly folowed by a harsh clamor. I looked around and seen some of of the boys in a ghostly pallor, I was afraid but I looked back and the plane had been blown apart a seat behind mine I got to my feet and clambered my way across frightened boys ahead of me i looked into the cockpit window and had seen that the pilot jumbling with the walky talky tryed to get into the cockpit to ask ask what I could do, not to sound vain but my father showed me to be decorous so I wanted to help. there was another strident and my world went black. i woke up the next mornig next to the people i was sitting next to on the plane but this time i was lying on hot sand and quivering very hard "hey Nick, George, Mike and Kevin wake up" i said, as i was saying that i was speculating on how did we get here and what had happened up there in the sky and especially where are we then kevin woke up and interposed my thinking. i looked at him and asked "where we" he didn't say anything he just shrugged. i looked at nick and had seen the debret of the plane layed upon his chest that kind of looked like a grating i laughed cuase it was like he was trapped which i would later find that we were. i got up and looked around and seen these vines with what looked like mangos hanging from them, i was so hungry that i devoured two whole without thinkig if they were safe to to eat or not, by the time i finished my fourth one nick and george had woken up and all four of us had started to eat mangos then there was a sound like trumpet then we heard it again and again it keptt going i dont know if it was the sugar in the mangos or something all i knew was wanted to know what that sound was so i took of toward the sound at a pace i had never ran before wi thin a matter of minutes i had seen the maker of the sound, a tall boy with a portly round looking kid standing next to a lagoon, as i got closer i had seen about 100 kids just so many the portly look ing kid was asking all of us our names then an older look kid i think his name is jack suggested that we have leader and so i said "the guy with the trumpet sounding thingy" and most of the population agreed i said it cause if he was smart enough gather us here he should be smart enough to guide us to go back home, as i said it jack looked filled with indignation.

2 comments:

william said...

i REALLY LIKE YOUR story just need a little help with the speliing put it in spell cheack and u an see there is a lot wrong expecally the i intead if I.

Emma Christenfeld said...

Nixon-
Like William said, some spelling checking would be good. Make sure to start a new line with quotes. I think you meant to use the word "debris" instead of debret. Possibly paragraphs might be of service. Also check the last sentence. Apart from the technicalities it's really good.
-Emma